I Dream of WE: Priorities, Keeping Love on Top

57D66C54-93DE-43D7-BC8F-143E986F317DOn November 26th, I started a new position as the new Nurse-in-Charge (NIC) of the Ambulatory Surgery Department (ASD) and Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU). This position would mean a nice pay increase (amazing right?!). However, it also meant more responsibility and longer hours. I’ve spent the majority of my more recent years in nursing working part-time. Nursing is a career where shifts and time off is never guaranteed. Therefore, I worked part-time for more flexibility in my schedule. Just over one month into the position, I am finding myself less patient and increasingly exhausted. As a newlywed, I now have to manage becoming a “boss” as well as having a happy home life. I see how easy it is to say “I’m too tired to….”. So to others who are also striving to make their marriage a priority, here are a few things that I have learned:

  1. I Miss You Like Everyday…

My husband and I have a shared google calendar that keeps us updated with what each other is doing. I schedule my work times and my on-call times into the calendar so that he always knows when I’m free. Therefore, if he suggests a date night or a weekend getaway, it alleviates me always saying…no I’m working that day or no I’m on call (which can be really frustrating being on the receiving end of that after a while). Technology can be great in that way. Also, it helps to send flirty text messages throughout the day. It doesn’t have to be long or in depth. However, receiving an “I miss you” or “I’m thinking about you” from my husband during the busy days as work keeps me going and feeling connected while we’re apart.

 

  1. Say No, No, No, No

The desire to make more money and save more money makes it easy to pack on the hours. My husband had to remind me that sometimes time is greater than money. Sometimes I have to say no to that extra shift when asked. For him, sometimes it means saying no to the XBOX live party, so he can spend time with me for a couple hours when I get home from work.

 

  1. Always Stay Gracious

Because of my vigorous work schedule, my husband often has to step in and take care of things while I’m working. Thankfully his work schedule has flexibility and allows him to do so. Whether it is trip to the grocery store or fixing something I didn’t have a chance to get to, he always seems to get things done when I’m not around. I realized how important it is to not take that for granted and to say thank you for all he does.

 

  1. Crazy in Love

This may have been the hardest thing for me learn because it doesn’t come naturally to me. Growing up in a Haitian household, where blatant displays of affection wasn’t something I was used to seeing, has made me prone to shy away from affection as well. Being crazy in love and outwardly affectionate was something I had to learn to feed one of my husband’s primary love languages.

 

  1. A Perfect Duet

I probably will never be an Xbox gamer and my husband will probably never join a book club. One thing my husband and I both share is our love for music. After church on Saturdays, we’ll spend an hour or two just playing music together, with me on the piano and him on the drums. It became something we could look forward to every week. We also like to challenge each other to a game of Wordament. Although I continue to crush him in every round (don’t tell him I said this!), it gives us an opportunity to do something together and regularly when time is limited.

I haven’t figured it all out yet. I’m still learning to balance work and keeping love on top. However, I’ve realized that every new day is an opportunity to start over and create a love that lasts until the end of time!

I Dream of We: The Honeymoon is OVER!

IMG_9603My husband and I returned from our honeymoon in Greece just in time for Thanksgiving. Most people envision the honeymoon as the newlywed couple flying off to an exotic country, exploring and catching sunrays. It was my idea to honeymoon in Greece so I was more than excited. We traveled to Athens, the capital and visited Santorini, an island off the coast of Greece. I expected to fill ourselves to the brim with a variety of delicious Greek food and be amazed by the breath taking views of the country. I expected tons of sightseeing and romance. What I did not expect was to learn…

While in Santorini, my husband and I wanted to explore the island. Unlike Athens, taxis were not readily available. Although the bus system was commonly used, the schedule was in Greek and we couldn’t understand it. My husband suggested renting an ATV or a Moped for traveling around the island. The cautious and the nurse side of me said to myself “that this doesn’t seem like the greatest idea”. The roads of Santorini were narrow and hilly, with no barriers to the cliffs and the Aegean Sea below. It was definitely NOT something I would decide to do on my own. I was actually surprised of how fearful I was.

During our search for a rental shop, we found a place that rented UTV’s, which had the same open feel of an ATV but has two seats. When the salesperson told us how much it would be to rent, my husband was ready to say never mind and leave. It was pricey and he wasn’t sure if I really felt comfortable enough to do it. I knew he would say no if I wasn’t comfortable. So I encouraged him to just live in the moment and let’s do it. I believe that this was my first marital test. As we drove along the cliff side in an open vehicle, I reflected on why this experience was so important. It taught me to support and encourage him when he feels unsure. It taught me to trust him even though it scares me.

Although I know everyday we wont be driving along the cliffs, I realize that much of life will be filled with uncertainty. There will be moments when my husband feels unsure in his leading decision and will look to me for encouragement. I realize that there will be times where I need to trust the strength that God has placed in him. We truly had the time of our lives in Greece and I’ll cherish the memories for a lifetime. Even more so, I will cherish the lessons learned.

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