On November 26th, I started a new position as the new Nurse-in-Charge (NIC) of the Ambulatory Surgery Department (ASD) and Post Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU). This position would mean a nice pay increase (amazing right?!). However, it also meant more responsibility and longer hours. I’ve spent the majority of my more recent years in nursing working part-time. Nursing is a career where shifts and time off is never guaranteed. Therefore, I worked part-time for more flexibility in my schedule. Just over one month into the position, I am finding myself less patient and increasingly exhausted. As a newlywed, I now have to manage becoming a “boss” as well as having a happy home life. I see how easy it is to say “I’m too tired to….”. So to others who are also striving to make their marriage a priority, here are a few things that I have learned:
- I Miss You Like Everyday…
My husband and I have a shared google calendar that keeps us updated with what each other is doing. I schedule my work times and my on-call times into the calendar so that he always knows when I’m free. Therefore, if he suggests a date night or a weekend getaway, it alleviates me always saying…no I’m working that day or no I’m on call (which can be really frustrating being on the receiving end of that after a while). Technology can be great in that way. Also, it helps to send flirty text messages throughout the day. It doesn’t have to be long or in depth. However, receiving an “I miss you” or “I’m thinking about you” from my husband during the busy days as work keeps me going and feeling connected while we’re apart.
- Say No, No, No, No
The desire to make more money and save more money makes it easy to pack on the hours. My husband had to remind me that sometimes time is greater than money. Sometimes I have to say no to that extra shift when asked. For him, sometimes it means saying no to the XBOX live party, so he can spend time with me for a couple hours when I get home from work.
- Always Stay Gracious
Because of my vigorous work schedule, my husband often has to step in and take care of things while I’m working. Thankfully his work schedule has flexibility and allows him to do so. Whether it is trip to the grocery store or fixing something I didn’t have a chance to get to, he always seems to get things done when I’m not around. I realized how important it is to not take that for granted and to say thank you for all he does.
- Crazy in Love
This may have been the hardest thing for me learn because it doesn’t come naturally to me. Growing up in a Haitian household, where blatant displays of affection wasn’t something I was used to seeing, has made me prone to shy away from affection as well. Being crazy in love and outwardly affectionate was something I had to learn to feed one of my husband’s primary love languages.
- A Perfect Duet
I probably will never be an Xbox gamer and my husband will probably never join a book club. One thing my husband and I both share is our love for music. After church on Saturdays, we’ll spend an hour or two just playing music together, with me on the piano and him on the drums. It became something we could look forward to every week. We also like to challenge each other to a game of Wordament. Although I continue to crush him in every round (don’t tell him I said this!), it gives us an opportunity to do something together and regularly when time is limited.
I haven’t figured it all out yet. I’m still learning to balance work and keeping love on top. However, I’ve realized that every new day is an opportunity to start over and create a love that lasts until the end of time!